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Are You Good Enough?
Struggling with feelings of never being good enough? Read this article to heal yourself
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For The Ones Who Tried
How do you measure a life? Do you measure it by the numbersIn your bank accountYour numerous achievements Your red ledger book of wins? Or in the chance interactionsThe momentsYou touched someoneThe exchanges The depth of connectionYou had withLoved ones People you truly let in I can no longer shut out the painOr the tendernessOf…
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Memory, love, loss and longing in “After Yang“
I’ve been studying cognitive neuroscience as part of my M.A program in Clinical Psychology at Teachers College, Columbia University, and it’s been making me think a lot about what it means to be human. As I went though my notes on the various neural mechanisms that human beings employ to acquire knowledge and the myriad…
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“MERMAID” KICKSTARTER LAUNCHED!!!
YOU CAN NOW PLEDGE! ◡̈ Dear Friends, It’s 22nd July and I’ve officially launched the KICKSTARTER for ‘MERMAID’ my 2nd Singer-Songwriter Album! You can access the KICKSTARTER here and make a pledge according to a reward tier that you fancy! Thank you for journeying with me so far. The official concert launch (and farewell) was…
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New York City
The City of Dreams Photo Credit: Deborah Lee The spirit of a city, any city is important and can often be felt. There’s a unknowing presence and sense that comes upon you when you feel met by the soul of the city. This is where I feel met. Many have told me how cold, uncaring…
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Mirrors
Introduction: “Spiegel im Spiegel” meaning ‘Mirror in Mirror’ in German captivated me (and still does), not just for its hauntingly beautiful melody, but for the person (a clown) who shared it with me. The composer Arvo Pärt wrote music inspired by his spiritual life. This poem came to me like a gift and penned itself…
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Look For The Glimmers
In a world full of triggers, perhaps we need to look for the glimmers. “And what are glimmers” you ask? Read this 2 min thought-piece to find out!
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A.I and Fiction
This piece explores the possibility of A.I being able to tell stories like humans do. I interacted briefly with ChatGPT to facilitate the exploration of this question. Photo by Kunj Parekh on Unsplash
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Peaceful Thoughts
Notes from a Domestic Violence Trauma Survivor Below is a letter I had addressed to Redemption Hill Church – the church I was attending and an active member of, and which I had turned to when I was violently assaulted by my ex-husband of eight years. (hereafter I will refer to him as ‘the ex’)…
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Anger – The Five Letter Word
For most of my life I believed that anger was a bad emotion and that I should “discipline” it out of my life — meaning that I should never express my anger to others or speak in ways that showed my anger, upset or unhappiness. I grew up in a church environment and took everything that was…
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“Home” is when you stop lying to yourself
I’m a singer-songwriter and the the official title of my debut album is “Home.” (See Footnote 1) It is titled “Home” because making music creates a space for me to feel completely at rest and at home. It’s a place I can escape to and use my imagination to recreate worlds and images and sounds…
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High and Dry
“High and Dry” by Radiohead was the anthem of my late teen years and my 20s. It came back to my life again and again in various ways and took on different shades of meaning each time. The first time I noticed the song was when I was 16 at Wala Wala’s a bar in…
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If
If I could take away thoseTwo deep lines betweenYour brows I would You lie thereIn your pink uniformDreaming harried dreams Playing out all the dramaYou’ve lived on In vivid technicolor I sit hereUnwilling to wake youFrom your restful stupor How much rest have you reallyHad all these years? When will you sleepWithout those Creases betweenYour…
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Time Underwater
I wish we had more time together Things would look so different underwaterWhen you consider all the waysThis tale could unfurl Can you imagine a different world? One structured byThe raw materialsOf hope, love and truthWhere people can see Beyond their fears Where things unsaid aren’tMade to degradeWhere words and their shadesDon’t obscure but create…
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Wet Market
I remember it well,Trailing behind youSuffocating inThe heat and stench,As slopping waterMingled with the bloodOf freshly gutted fishSplashed against myFlip-flops andOnto my feet and ankles I hated it,Like a fish out of water,I languished in the recessesWhile you bargained like a magpieWith the feisty womenAnd crusty old menBehind the standsOf fresh meat and vegetables You…
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Stories
We live in storiesThe onesWe inhabitIn our heads The ones that weTell to eachOther To give understanding And hope To remind ourselvesThere’s somethingThat connectsUs all That binds usTo the fabric ofLife A purposeThat transcends Our smallHappiness And deep sadness We live in stories Because we can
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When Time Runs Still
When time runs stillTomorrowWith hours to kill and moreto follow Where will you be? The night is longAnd the days blendThe season’s goneWith the new trend Where are you now? The wedding bellsAre ringingAnd down the aisleThe Bride is walking But you’re not there Heaven’s singingAll of your songs I’m dreamingOf days long gone Remembering…
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Mangoes
Ripe with aMalfeasanceThat threatensTo engulf meWhole Round, fulland yellowWith that lingeringScentAn inviting sweetnessTo biteInto juicy flesh You’d buy them for meAnd I’d reject them Only to takethem homeReluctantly,If only to stopYou from eatingThemand hurtingYourself Your colonCan’t take itThe two operationsThe growing cancerpushing intoYour peritoneum When you eat mangoesyour intestines get blockedAnd your pain escalates The…
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Wonderland
If I can bring it back to mindThis is how it must have looked like,When I was a child The cotton candy, the pink,The lights,The cool night airOn my skin Cries of joy and mirthAt the thrill of being swung aroundOn the OctopusAs you held my handWrapped up in your armsI was secure in the…
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City of Angels
These streets are marked with sadnessThe alleyways and boulevards,This city of Angels and DevilsWhere opulence and poverty rub shouldersAnd sex is plied on the streetsBy numbered girls in short pleated skirts Thick eyeliner accentuatesTheir dulled eyesAnd bright pink lipstickBelies their hardened smilesIn a city that promised muchBut instead, took everything A few blocks away,Stand houses…
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Quiet
What are all these words?Why all this noise?Why do people keep onTalking without saying anything? I just want to hear your heartThe steady beatingI just want to know your soulAnd its rhythm keeping Quiet nowListening toThe words not said Nestled in the distantspaces between
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Breathing In and Out
There were things about himThat I breathed in And things that I breathed out There were thingsAbout him I could seeAnd things that I could do without After he leftthere were so many waysI found myselfdoing the things I loved most in him Learning thatWhateverI had seen in him Had been in me All along
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You Sought A Woman, You Found a Soul
Edith Södergran: The Day Turns Cool I.The day turns cool towards evening…Drink the warmth of my hand,my hand has the warm blood of springtime.Take my hand, take my white arm,take the longing of my shoulders…Wondrous to feel,one sole night, a night like this,your heavy head on my breast. II.You threw the red rose of your…
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Jukebox Player
You talk about your glory daysMatron Maxwell, who mentored youEngland and MGS, like theyWere one and the sameConflating past and present You can bridge time Yes, in your mind But you’re here with me now And I’ve got front row seatsTo the broken walls of your mind I’ve got full access To the hallways of…
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Daenerys
I know now whyshe burned cities downI feel the fireof her dragons breathing downon me The righteous angerthat was never seenheard or feltthat was dismissedby a thousandmenand the lies ofmyths and traditions She grazed it downto the groundand burned everythingsymbolizing thosechains Born in the fireCleansed by her angerShe finds new life in the ashes
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DIY Mushroom Patch Bell Jar
The Christmas before COVID hit I was given a succulent in a bell jar because I had requested a “leafy green plant” for my office Christmas secret Santa gift. The succulent died shortly after I got it, but not before it was poached by a co-worker who assumed that I had abandoned my plant. I…
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Michelin Star Pumpkin Soup
What you see in this picture is a humble bowl of pumpkin soup which I am happily consuming right now even as I write this blogpost. The title of this post belies how simple and easy it is to cook it. A friend of mine who has rather bougie tastebuds came by for dinner the…
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Drive My Car
I went to The Projector on Tuesday this week for the 7:30pm screening of “Drive My Car” which won “Best Screenplay” in the 2021 Cannes Film Festival. It is a movie adaptation of Haruki Murakami’s short story of the same title. (SPOILER ALERT: important plot points will be revealed, so please do not continue reading…
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Using Humor to Disguise Fear or Terror
“Oh, Peter, of course I understand. And I approve. I’m a realist. Man has always insisted on making an ass of himself. Oh, come now, we must never lose our sense of humour. Still, I’ve always loved the tale of Tristan and Isolde. It’s the most beautiful story ever told – next to that of…
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Why David Bothers Me
As a mature Christian, I find it unsettling that after all these years, the biblical David still really irritates and annoys me, and I would daresay even outrages me. As much as I try to put this conflict in my heart to rest, I still find it very difficult to accept that he has such…
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Letting Go To Create
I wrote this song in a cab on the way back home from town: Life is a song That is to be sung You don’t go back You don’t go back There’s nothing wrong With being weak Take it slowly When things look bleak No need to be afraid About what people think Darling don’t…
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Lone Tree
Where do you go for safety and strength? Where do you go to find renewal and hope? I turn to Christ, the author and perfecter of my faith. The same comfort, hope and strength and power He gives to me is available to you too.
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Listen
I rediscovered recently on an older blog of mine that I had forgotten about. My entries in that blog really spoke to me and reminded me of the person I am deep inside, someone that went into hiding for a long time. I wonder if in the process of being married and building a life…
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Home
When old memories, creep upOn you like thatAnd when dust filtersThrough the lightAnd the past isCaptured.In a tiny capsule It follows you backInto the still reposeOf sudden silencesAnd the dogs barkingThe hours drawn outAgainst the day, washed-outLike an overexposed Polaroid The taste feeds back intoThe heart;Into an eternal place thatThe years passingCannot touch And the…
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How Our Brains Trick Us
If I told you that we all are living in some kind of delusion to differing degrees at any one point in time, would you believe me? The reality is, each one of us lives in the world of our mind and its perceptions of our personal histories, situations and events; this narrative we build…
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The Culture and Civilisation of The Merfolk – An Allegorical Tale
One day as I lay in bed I saw a picture in my mind’s eye – I was swimming alone in the depths of an unknown ocean. My hair floated around my head in long and unruly strands, swaying with the currents as I breast-stroked my way through the waters. Before long, an area of…
meowmeowproject
I write about the intersection of pain and beauty and the convoluted world of relationships
meowmeowproject 