Category: self-knowledge
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A.I and Fiction
This piece explores the possibility of A.I being able to tell stories like humans do. I interacted briefly with ChatGPT to facilitate the exploration of this question. Photo by Kunj Parekh on Unsplash
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Anger – The Five Letter Word
For most of my life I believed that anger was a bad emotion and that I should “discipline” it out of my life — meaning that I should never express my anger to others or speak in ways that showed my anger, upset or unhappiness. I grew up in a church environment and took everything that was…
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“Home” is when you stop lying to yourself
I’m a singer-songwriter and the the official title of my debut album is “Home.” (See Footnote 1) It is titled “Home” because making music creates a space for me to feel completely at rest and at home. It’s a place I can escape to and use my imagination to recreate worlds and images and sounds…
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Wishing Well (Tell Me)
Have you ever wondered how to tell a woman your feelings about her? Here’s a little song and some insight as to how you might approach her.
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High and Dry
“High and Dry” by Radiohead was the anthem of my late teen years and my 20s. It came back to my life again and again in various ways and took on different shades of meaning each time. The first time I noticed the song was when I was 16 at Wala Wala’s a bar in…
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Fall in Love
A short introduction to my story and what I have decided to do with what I have been through
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If
If I could take away thoseTwo deep lines betweenYour brows I would You lie thereIn your pink uniformDreaming harried dreams Playing out all the dramaYou’ve lived on In vivid technicolor I sit hereUnwilling to wake youFrom your restful stupor How much rest have you reallyHad all these years? When will you sleepWithout those Creases betweenYour…
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Are You Good Enough?
Struggling with feelings of never being good enough? Read this article to heal yourself
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Time Underwater
I wish we had more time together Things would look so different underwaterWhen you consider all the waysThis tale could unfurl Can you imagine a different world? One structured byThe raw materialsOf hope, love and truthWhere people can see Beyond their fears Where things unsaid aren’tMade to degradeWhere words and their shadesDon’t obscure but create…
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Who Are You?
This poem is about my father who passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2015. He died within 6 weeks of his diagnosis. After announcing his condition through email, he refused to see anyone for two whole weeks. He was a very independent and proud man who wanted to take care of business before letting people…
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Wet Market
I remember it well,Trailing behind youSuffocating inThe heat and stench,As slopping waterMingled with the bloodOf freshly gutted fishSplashed against myFlip-flops andOnto my feet and ankles I hated it,Like a fish out of water,I languished in the recessesWhile you bargained like a magpieWith the feisty womenAnd crusty old menBehind the standsOf fresh meat and vegetables You…
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Regret
“Do you regret marrying Dad”I ventureWondering if she knowsWhy I ask “No, I don’t regret it” There is a pregnant pauseA naked silence “Why not?”I ask, undeterred “I don’t believe in the word regret” she offers Meanwhile,My brain is busy decodingwhat she’s saying “It doesn’t matter what you believe, but the wordexists mom”I mutter in…
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Stories
We live in storiesThe onesWe inhabitIn our heads The ones that weTell to eachOther To give understanding And hope To remind ourselvesThere’s somethingThat connectsUs all That binds usTo the fabric ofLife A purposeThat transcends Our smallHappiness And deep sadness We live in stories Because we can
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When Time Runs Still
When time runs stillTomorrowWith hours to kill and moreto follow Where will you be? The night is longAnd the days blendThe season’s goneWith the new trend Where are you now? The wedding bellsAre ringingAnd down the aisleThe Bride is walking But you’re not there Heaven’s singingAll of your songs I’m dreamingOf days long gone Remembering…
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Mangoes
Ripe with aMalfeasanceThat threatensTo engulf meWhole Round, fulland yellowWith that lingeringScentAn inviting sweetnessTo biteInto juicy flesh You’d buy them for meAnd I’d reject them Only to takethem homeReluctantly,If only to stopYou from eatingThemand hurtingYourself Your colonCan’t take itThe two operationsThe growing cancerpushing intoYour peritoneum When you eat mangoesyour intestines get blockedAnd your pain escalates The…
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The Soul Would Have No Rainbow, Had The Eyes No Tears
This Christmas, I am gifting myself the gift of grief. I wrote a song on this particular theme because I’m so sick and tired of all the positive messaging I’m constantly bombarded with. Everywhere… Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn … like… highlight reel allergy much. I’m not a cynic, but can I just get an honest (though…
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City of Angels
These streets are marked with sadnessThe alleyways and boulevards,This city of Angels and DevilsWhere opulence and poverty rub shouldersAnd sex is plied on the streetsBy numbered girls in short pleated skirts Thick eyeliner accentuatesTheir dulled eyesAnd bright pink lipstickBelies their hardened smilesIn a city that promised muchBut instead, took everything A few blocks away,Stand houses…
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Quiet
What are all these words?Why all this noise?Why do people keep onTalking without saying anything? I just want to hear your heartThe steady beatingI just want to know your soulAnd its rhythm keeping Quiet nowListening toThe words not said Nestled in the distantspaces between
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Praxis
What does retraumatization and gaslighting in church look like? This is my own account of what I went through as a victim and survivor of domestic violence. I have since left this church.
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14th March 2010
Memories…will they rain down On me. By the time I hit thirty? Will they thrive on Lonely nights And silent walks Or will they trickle down Like water in my hair? Solitude.. to learn to Love my company And savor the vaulting expanse: This consciousness you give to me. Words, to pierce my heart And…
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The Ocean Wants Me
Treading waterI can’t see the lightCan’t find the bottomI’m losing the fight Dark sky aboveCold water aroundPieces of my broken pastScattered where they’re found Lord can you help meI’ve tried my bestBeen treading for so longNow I just want to rest The ship of faithhit rocks and sankswallowed by the seaA distant memory Savior can…
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Breathing In and Out
There were things about himThat I breathed in And things that I breathed out There were thingsAbout him I could seeAnd things that I could do without After he leftthere were so many waysI found myselfdoing the things I loved most in him Learning thatWhateverI had seen in him Had been in me All along
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You Sought A Woman, You Found a Soul
Edith Södergran: The Day Turns Cool I.The day turns cool towards evening…Drink the warmth of my hand,my hand has the warm blood of springtime.Take my hand, take my white arm,take the longing of my shoulders…Wondrous to feel,one sole night, a night like this,your heavy head on my breast. II.You threw the red rose of your…
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Jukebox Player
You talk about your glory daysMatron Maxwell, who mentored youEngland and MGS, like theyWere one and the sameConflating past and present You can bridge time Yes, in your mind But you’re here with me now And I’ve got front row seatsTo the broken walls of your mind I’ve got full access To the hallways of…
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Small Fish
The ache has got familiarI’ve learned to pack it inAll these momentsFeel so sober I’m just a small fishIn a small pond I know there’s a reasonFor every season But the ache’s so strongAnd it feels so … Like somethingInside me keepsOn breaking Over and over again Small fishSmall fishWhere do you go “Small fryGrow…
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Creativity, How I Adore You! *Blergh*
(3 min read) I recently found an old song book from my Primary School. As a child I know I had many thoughts and opinions, most of which I would keep to myself because I didn’t feel comfortable sharing them with anyone. I felt so vindicated to find the song titled “Creativity, How I Adore…
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Grief
They talk about griefIt comes in stages Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Acceptance But do they talk aboutThe stabbing painIn your heart? Do they mentionHow hard it is to trust again?How fearful you feelOf falling in love Giving your heart away again? Do they talk about the hollownessThat you feel in the depths of your soul? Do…
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Daenerys
I know now whyshe burned cities downI feel the fireof her dragons breathing downon me The righteous angerthat was never seenheard or feltthat was dismissedby a thousandmenand the lies ofmyths and traditions She grazed it downto the groundand burned everythingsymbolizing thosechains Born in the fireCleansed by her angerShe finds new life in the ashes
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Drive My Car
I went to The Projector on Tuesday this week for the 7:30pm screening of “Drive My Car” which won “Best Screenplay” in the 2021 Cannes Film Festival. It is a movie adaptation of Haruki Murakami’s short story of the same title. (SPOILER ALERT: important plot points will be revealed, so please do not continue reading…
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Using Humor to Disguise Fear or Terror
“Oh, Peter, of course I understand. And I approve. I’m a realist. Man has always insisted on making an ass of himself. Oh, come now, we must never lose our sense of humour. Still, I’ve always loved the tale of Tristan and Isolde. It’s the most beautiful story ever told – next to that of…
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Why David Bothers Me
As a mature Christian, I find it unsettling that after all these years, the biblical David still really irritates and annoys me, and I would daresay even outrages me. As much as I try to put this conflict in my heart to rest, I still find it very difficult to accept that he has such…
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The Cathedral of Your Mind
What do you build in the CathedralOf your mind? Garbage in, garbage outWhat are you watchingThese days? What images play in your mind?How do you like them? Does your spirit senseSomething’s amissOr is it like sleeping beauty Waiting for true love’s kiss Do you feel like you wereMade for something moreThan just another dayOf going…
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Epitaph
As if life wasn’t hard enoughYou and I danced a beautifulDance of dysfunction As I look backThere were all these signsBut why did I ignore them? Was it because I wasDrawn to the fireAs a moth is drawn toThe flame? You told me life was preciousBut you didn’t knowJust how precious it wasUntil you walked…
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Everything
Everything I amYou see it allThere’s nothingI can hide Nowhere I can goWhich youDo not already know Everything I thinkYou see it allEven at my worstYou love me still How great is your loveSo deep I cannot fathom Even when I failEven when I feel far from youYou are here with meYou draw near to…
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Listen
I rediscovered recently on an older blog of mine that I had forgotten about. My entries in that blog really spoke to me and reminded me of the person I am deep inside, someone that went into hiding for a long time. I wonder if in the process of being married and building a life…
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